1
00:00:00,470 --> 00:00:02,690
- Our next stop is Philadelphia,

2
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:04,760
and the centenary exhibition,

3
00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:07,293
cradle of the new rebellion.

4
00:00:10,530 --> 00:00:12,280
- [Jane] Well, the president is going to be here.

5
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,460
-Are we really going to meet President Grant?

6
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,250
- I can't wait to line up that vile Grant

7
00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:20,935
on the sites of one of their own canyons.

8
00:00:21,015 --> 00:00:23,411
(whip cracks)

9
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:24,933
(thud)

10
00:00:25,013 --> 00:00:25,766
(shooting)

11
00:00:25,846 --> 00:00:28,740
You are all prisoners of war.

12
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,090
- This guy's coat is missing some buttons.

13
00:00:32,785 --> 00:00:35,452
(western music)

14
00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:36,548
- They arrived.

15
00:01:36,628 --> 00:01:38,820
Grant may be a red-handed murderer,

16
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:41,153
but make the trains arrive on time.

17
00:01:48,210 --> 00:01:51,210
(adventurous music)

18
00:01:56,210 --> 00:01:58,093
Let's do it for Dixie, Jack.

19
00:02:13,290 --> 00:02:14,713
- By Sam Hill?

20
00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:20,863
- Yankee deserves to die.

21
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,570
- Don't shoot, unless you have to.

22
00:02:24,650 --> 00:02:26,990
It's not that I'm a lover of the north, Jack.

23
00:02:27,070 --> 00:02:31,173
We simply cannot afford to stain
uniforms with blood.

24
00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:37,980
From Confederate captain to Yankee commander?

25
00:02:38,060 --> 00:02:40,689
A degradation of some magnitude.

26
00:02:40,769 --> 00:02:42,660
(laughter)

27
00:02:42,740 --> 00:02:44,630
- I threw them into the desert.

28
00:02:44,710 --> 00:02:47,610
- They won't go far
dressed in their long underwear.

29
00:02:47,690 --> 00:02:49,770
Alright, men, to your posts.

30
00:02:49,850 --> 00:02:52,280
Our next stop is Philadelphia,

31
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,360
and the centenary exhibition,

32
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,663
cradle of the new rebellion.

33
00:02:58,565 --> 00:03:01,148
(soft music)

34
00:03:13,096 --> 00:03:14,320
(drinks)

35
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,430
- Janie, you are as pretty as a picture

36
00:03:16,510 --> 00:03:19,110
in one of those catalogs I saw at the general store.

37
00:03:20,090 --> 00:03:21,580
- Thanks, I guess.

38
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,330
I feel ridiculous.

39
00:03:23,410 --> 00:03:26,458
Not even a place to hang a
weapon in an outfit like this.

40
00:03:26,538 --> 00:03:27,291
(laugh)

41
00:03:27,371 --> 00:03:29,093
- You are welcome to polite society.

42
00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:35,043
- Sir, madam.

43
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,130
- Yes, many guards.

44
00:03:39,210 --> 00:03:41,360
- Well, the president will be here.

45
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,690
There's something about that guy at the door, though.

46
00:03:48,950 --> 00:03:51,470
- The centenary exhibition.

47
00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:55,850
I declare, Janie, that I have never
I have seen nothing so great.

48
00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:57,490
- Me neither.

49
00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:00,550
- And this news is very crazy, I like it.

50
00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:02,680
You don't need teeth to eat with them.

51
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,210
- Watch where you're going, townie.

52
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,700
Apparently they will allow any type

53
00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:10,990
of a ruffian in these fairgrounds, Amanda.

54
00:04:11,070 --> 00:04:13,433
But here of all places.

55
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:15,573
- Yes, aunt.

56
00:04:16,550 --> 00:04:17,713
- Villager? Ruffian?

57
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:20,760
I tell you, Janie, if Vanderbilt wasn't paying

58
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:23,170
so we can see these railway inventions here,

59
00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:25,040
I wouldn't take this abuse.

60
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:26,390
- Get used to it, Joe.

61
00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:28,440
We're not in Deadwood anymore.

62
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:31,694
Let's go see the army train like
we're supposed to do it.

63
00:04:31,774 --> 00:04:34,024
(drum roll)

64
00:04:36,654 --> 00:04:39,071
(gun click)

65
00:04:41,335 --> 00:04:43,502
(shooting)

66
00:04:45,323 --> 00:04:47,906
(upbeat music)

67
00:04:50,565 --> 00:04:51,600
(dynamite explodes)

68
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,363
- Vanderbilt was right.

69
00:04:53,443 --> 00:04:55,293
That contraption is very impressive.

70
00:04:56,260 --> 00:04:58,670
- Maybe, but I can think
in five different ways

71
00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:01,578
to stop it without even studying the problem.

72
00:05:01,658 --> 00:05:03,020
- Bad investment?

73
00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,763
- That's what I'm going to tell you.

74
00:05:06,330 --> 00:05:08,810
She's got quite the range, doesn't she, Joe?

75
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:09,643
- Quite.

76
00:05:09,723 --> 00:05:13,409
I wouldn't mind having it
on my side in a pending task.

77
00:05:13,489 --> 00:05:15,120
- But that's Miss Liberty, Joe.

78
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,000
She is always on your side on this earth.

79
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,150
It's getting late, it better
Let's get back to the party.

80
00:05:20,230 --> 00:05:22,690
-Are we really going to meet President Grant?

81
00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:24,090
- That's what Vanderbilt said.

82
00:05:24,170 --> 00:05:28,270
- Well, who would have thought, my mom would be very proud.

83
00:05:28,350 --> 00:05:31,553
- Joe, your mom was a rebel, tried and true.

84
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,300
- Hmm, so she was.

85
00:05:34,380 --> 00:05:35,213
Oh well.

86
00:05:41,060 --> 00:05:43,360
- Then the horrible wobbly cowboy

87
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,550
He practically knocked me to the ground.

88
00:05:45,630 --> 00:05:47,600
I guess I was inflamed with desire,

89
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,180
like the great apes that Darwin describes.

90
00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:53,010
My God, I think I've made a mistake.

91
00:05:53,090 --> 00:05:54,723
He is actually a guest.

92
00:05:55,590 --> 00:05:58,726
- How smart.
(complains)

93
00:05:58,806 --> 00:05:59,559
-Joe.

94
00:05:59,639 --> 00:06:03,840
- Hello, I'm Hortencia Rothchild, your host.

95
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,130
And you are?

96
00:06:05,210 --> 00:06:06,640
- Calamity Jane.

97
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,610
And this is Joe Presto.

98
00:06:08,690 --> 00:06:09,750
- The oaf.

99
00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:11,530
- Calamity Jane?

100
00:06:11,610 --> 00:06:13,740
Wow, you're practically a legend.

101
00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:15,130
My niece Amanda was saying

102
00:06:15,210 --> 00:06:16,670
how brave he thinks you are.

103
00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:17,880
Isn't that right, dear?

104
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,850
- Um, yes, but aunt, we weren't supposed to...

105
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:24,480
- Commodore Vanderbilt
He telegraphed me that you would come.

106
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:26,530
I'm here to keep you out of trouble.

107
00:06:26,610 --> 00:06:27,400
- Issues?

108
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:30,950
- Well, as they say, you can take the girl out of the field,

109
00:06:31,030 --> 00:06:33,010
but you can't take the field away from the girl.

110
00:06:33,090 --> 00:06:34,620
We don't want to be ashamed

111
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:37,110
in front of President Grant, right?

112
00:06:37,190 --> 00:06:40,170
- I don't know about you, ma'am, but we do.

113
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:43,103
- Why don't you go mingle with the upper classes, Joe?

114
00:06:44,192 --> 00:06:48,130
- Stylish good-for-nothing pants,
high-pitched, stiff-necked, cocky.

115
00:06:48,210 --> 00:06:50,880
- It's very funny, almost like

116
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,300
a monkey trained in that tuxedo.

117
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:56,330
Oh look, he's even eating a banana.

118
00:06:56,410 --> 00:06:58,710
I guess you keep him around for a laugh.

119
00:06:58,790 --> 00:07:02,550
- Dude, Joe Presto is almost
as famous as Calamity Jane.

120
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:04,810
He is a hero in his own right.

121
00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:06,090
- That's nice of you to say.

122
00:07:06,170 --> 00:07:09,490
- Amanda, hasn't finishing school taught you anything?

123
00:07:09,570 --> 00:07:13,290
There are foster people, and there are everyone else.

124
00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:14,393
- Yes, aunt.

125
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:22,070
- If you'll excuse me, I need some fresh air.

126
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,930
- He's not our type, dear, always remember that.

127
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:26,840
There are certain things that the lady does,

128
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,210
and there are certain things she doesn't.

129
00:07:29,290 --> 00:07:30,243
- Oh, aunt.

130
00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:42,040
- Shane, President Grant
He'll never know what hit him.

131
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,970
Once one of those cannonballs breaks

132
00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:46,633
the door of his carriage, very polite.

133
00:07:49,507 --> 00:07:52,007
(the door creaks)

134
00:07:54,254 --> 00:07:56,462
(exciting music)

135
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:58,959
(body blows)

136
00:08:06,309 --> 00:08:07,142
- Yuck!

137
00:08:13,908 --> 00:08:16,660
(shooting)

138
00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:18,274
(guests shout)

139
00:08:18,354 --> 00:08:19,187
Oh.

140
00:08:20,165 --> 00:08:20,918
(shooting)

141
00:08:20,998 --> 00:08:23,900
- Calm and keep your hands where I can see them,

142
00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:26,660
or they will shoot you.

143
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,123
You are all prisoners of war.

144
00:08:38,741 --> 00:08:40,908
(shooting)

145
00:08:49,673 --> 00:08:52,590
(gasps)

146
00:09:39,195 --> 00:09:41,278
(moans)

147
00:09:54,137 --> 00:09:55,570
You men find out what happened.

148
00:09:55,650 --> 00:09:56,673
Search the lake.

149
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,833
You two, take care of these Yankee cattle.

150
00:10:01,913 --> 00:10:04,447
If someone crosses the line, execute them.

151
00:10:05,317 --> 00:10:08,317
(suspense music)

152
00:10:32,291 --> 00:10:34,708
(Gun clicks)

153
00:11:02,309 --> 00:11:06,010
You are honored to witness a new beginning.

154
00:11:06,090 --> 00:11:08,090
If you have to die, take comfort in that

155
00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:10,430
They will be martyrs of a great cause,

156
00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:13,290
the catalysts of our new rebellion.

157
00:11:13,370 --> 00:11:15,930
From the ashes of this exhibition will rise

158
00:11:16,010 --> 00:11:19,000
the glory of a rejuvenated Confederacy.

159
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,023
The butchers of the north will pay for their crimes,

160
00:11:23,070 --> 00:11:24,970
starting with its president,

161
00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:28,640
that those of us from the South do not recognize.

162
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,953
- To coats of this type
They are missing some buttons.

163
00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:35,510
- Hostages secured.
- Good.

164
00:11:35,590 --> 00:11:36,920
Let's go to the roof.

165
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,130
I can't wait to line up that vile Grant

166
00:11:40,210 --> 00:11:42,670
in the sights of one of his own cannons.

167
00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:44,750
When the smoke clears and they're trying

168
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:46,420
pick up the pieces of the president

169
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:48,530
from the splinters of his carriage,

170
00:11:48,610 --> 00:11:50,420
the world will know that we have

171
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:53,793
reason and power on our side.

172
00:12:00,432 --> 00:12:03,863
- Hmm, damn ruffled dress
It could also do me good.

173
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,233
- Don't move, or I'll shoot.

174
00:12:15,270 --> 00:12:16,460
- How dare they?

175
00:12:16,540 --> 00:12:18,330
How dare they?

176
00:12:18,410 --> 00:12:19,650
- Calamity is not here.

177
00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:22,140
He must have been the one that caused all the commotion.

178
00:12:22,220 --> 00:12:23,320
Excuse me, guys.

179
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,390
- Hang in there, Yankee.

180
00:12:24,470 --> 00:12:26,830
- Now, don't shoot, this lady is very sick.

181
00:12:26,910 --> 00:12:28,090
She needs a glass of water.

182
00:12:28,170 --> 00:12:30,060
- What do you think you're... Oh!
- Do you hear that?

183
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:31,810
Pressure is building in your boiler,

184
00:12:31,890 --> 00:12:33,280
and she could explode at any moment.

185
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:34,730
Now, how about that water?

186
00:12:34,810 --> 00:12:37,873
- Go ahead, but don't try anything funny.

187
00:12:54,338 --> 00:12:55,091
- Oh!

188
00:12:55,171 --> 00:12:57,890
Calamity Jane? I thought...
-Amanda?

189
00:12:57,970 --> 00:12:59,710
Are you trying to get yourself killed?

190
00:12:59,790 --> 00:13:01,960
- I'm trying to stay alive.

191
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,850
- I can't blame you for that.

192
00:13:03,930 --> 00:13:06,190
You are lucky that
You really won't need to use this.

193
00:13:06,270 --> 00:13:08,920
Unless one of those rebels
had to appear.

194
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,570
Now what are you doing here?

195
00:13:10,650 --> 00:13:11,830
- Trying not to...
- Come on.

196
00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:12,890
Let's see what we can do to achieve

197
00:13:12,970 --> 00:13:14,783
that we get into a little trouble on the roof.

198
00:13:17,610 --> 00:13:18,443
- Us?

199
00:13:19,730 --> 00:13:22,470
- Another boring evening tonight, Maury.

200
00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:25,033
I miss the old days of blood and thunder.

201
00:13:26,162 --> 00:13:27,400
(sighs)

202
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,960
Well at least there's Calamity Jane

203
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,530
It's supposed to be a character.

204
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,603
Maybe we can exchange war stories.

205
00:13:34,326 --> 00:13:36,798
(clack of hooves)

206
00:13:36,878 --> 00:13:39,878
(suspense music)

207
00:13:42,156 --> 00:13:44,156
(yawns)

208
00:13:45,996 --> 00:13:46,829
- Mmm.

209
00:13:47,972 --> 00:13:49,253
(branch snaps)
What?

210
00:13:51,389 --> 00:13:53,889
(whip cracks)

211
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,180
(body blows)

212
00:13:57,260 --> 00:13:58,673
- This way, hurry up.

213
00:14:03,327 --> 00:14:05,720
(the door creaks)

214
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:06,800
- Come on, this way.

215
00:14:09,670 --> 00:14:10,503
There she is!

216
00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:20,423
(laughs)

217
00:14:27,187 --> 00:14:28,064
Boo.

218
00:14:28,144 --> 00:14:30,144
(gasps)

219
00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:39,750
- Drop your weapons, boys.

220
00:14:39,830 --> 00:14:42,088
You have no chance.

221
00:14:42,168 --> 00:14:43,751
(mouth harp)

222
00:14:43,831 --> 00:14:45,914
(laughs)

223
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:58,270
Now, we can do this the easy way or...

224
00:14:58,350 --> 00:14:59,713
- Ah, this will be easy.

225
00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:01,910
- Figures.

226
00:15:01,990 --> 00:15:04,907
(carriages rattle)

227
00:15:12,380 --> 00:15:14,423
They always choose the difficult path.

228
00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:18,660
You can leave the
Terrified act, Amanda, we got them.

229
00:15:18,740 --> 00:15:20,460
- Do you think it's an act?

230
00:15:20,540 --> 00:15:22,530
Being terrified is the only thing you have

231
00:15:22,610 --> 00:15:25,293
This whole horrible situation that I'm good at.

232
00:15:26,580 --> 00:15:28,580
Standing there just looking

233
00:15:28,660 --> 00:15:30,303
all those men try to kill you.

234
00:15:31,269 --> 00:15:32,960
I hate that! I hate it!

235
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:36,520
- Silence, Amanda, of course.

236
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:37,657
Of course.

237
00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:43,500
- Well, I guess that's it
Time to give Janie a hand.

238
00:15:43,580 --> 00:15:47,020
- I can't believe you hit me, dirty, disgusting,

239
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:49,960
good for nothing, with teeth
false, ungentlemanly.

240
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,590
Look at me when I'm lecturing you.

241
00:15:51,670 --> 00:15:53,070
- I think you should keep your head down.

242
00:15:53,150 --> 00:15:55,543
Before the shooting starts, right?

243
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:10,084
(mechanism clicks)

244
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:21,470
- I remember cannons like these

245
00:16:21,550 --> 00:16:22,850
We were shot at Gettysburg.

246
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,730
- Well, this time it's the Yankees

247
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,460
who will be on the receiving end.

248
00:16:35,712 --> 00:16:38,545
(harmonica music)

249
00:16:39,850 --> 00:16:42,673
- Stay away from that canyon and don't get cute.

250
00:16:47,765 --> 00:16:48,872
(corn explosions)

251
00:16:48,952 --> 00:16:50,203
- We are under attack!

252
00:16:50,283 --> 00:16:51,833
We need reinforcements here.

253
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,143
Wow!
(grunts)

254
00:16:58,149 --> 00:16:59,410
(laughs)

255
00:16:59,490 --> 00:17:02,340
- Slide on a shell
banana, that's new.

256
00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:04,881
- I guess you're good for something.

257
00:17:04,961 --> 00:17:07,017
- Well, that's more than I can say about you.

258
00:17:09,845 --> 00:17:11,727
- You made a serious mistake, ma'am.

259
00:17:14,082 --> 00:17:16,832
(exciting music)

260
00:17:41,056 --> 00:17:43,806
(flame crackles)

261
00:17:51,231 --> 00:17:53,648
(thuds)

262
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:09,580
- Die, Yankee!

263
00:18:13,980 --> 00:18:17,165
(cannon fires)

264
00:18:17,245 --> 00:18:19,828
(the horses neigh)

265
00:18:41,895 --> 00:18:44,450
(whip cracks)
(shots)

266
00:18:44,530 --> 00:18:45,870
- Pull that trigger, and you're

267
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:48,253
whistling Dixie's song for the last time.

268
00:18:49,905 --> 00:18:52,586
- Uh, no!
- Oh no, you don't.

269
00:18:52,666 --> 00:18:53,499
Ah!

270
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:07,370
- Fate has ruined our plan,

271
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,400
but at least they allowed us a way out.

272
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:18,780
- There, even Steven.

273
00:19:18,860 --> 00:19:20,813
You saved me, I saved you.

274
00:19:21,663 --> 00:19:24,220
- I did, didn't I? Barely noticed.

275
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,090
I guess I was too
busy doing something.

276
00:19:26,170 --> 00:19:28,830
For a change instead of
just be helpless.

277
00:19:28,910 --> 00:19:29,743
- Do you believe?

278
00:19:39,540 --> 00:19:40,810
Would you mind doing the honors?

279
00:19:40,890 --> 00:19:42,683
- Wow, thank you very much.

280
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:53,110
- I have to tell Joe that I thought about

281
00:19:53,190 --> 00:19:55,313
another way to stop that train.

282
00:19:59,390 --> 00:20:02,610
- Are you sure I can't
persuade you, Miss Calamity?

283
00:20:02,690 --> 00:20:04,580
- I'm sorry, sir, no.

284
00:20:04,660 --> 00:20:06,850
- Well, if you don't work for me,

285
00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:09,520
At least I can hire your capable associate.

286
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,390
You are obviously a person of great courage,

287
00:20:11,470 --> 00:20:13,500
if today's events are any indication.

288
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,783
I won't take "no" for an answer.

289
00:20:17,610 --> 00:20:20,060
- It would be an honor, Mr. President.

290
00:20:20,140 --> 00:20:22,940
- Amanda, civilized people don't

291
00:20:23,020 --> 00:20:25,700
He gets his hands dirty with things like work.

292
00:20:25,780 --> 00:20:28,633
- Then I suppose I no longer wish to be civilized.

293
00:20:29,990 --> 00:20:31,880
Being myself is better.

294
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,674
- Why, me, me, me...

295
00:20:35,754 --> 00:20:37,510
- I bet this is the first time you lose

296
00:20:37,590 --> 00:20:40,247
before words since he learned to vocalize.

297
00:20:40,327 --> 00:20:42,620
- Just remember, you can do anything

298
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,580
what you propose, Amanda.

299
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:45,900
- I know.

300
00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:48,333
A lady I met recently told me.

301
00:20:50,630 --> 00:20:53,297
(western music)